Ignition

The women
Sunday morning
Dusty and dishevelled
A weekend without washing
Tired from the revelry
But eager for more

The instructress
Colourful in her Gypsy dress
And African beads
Herded them into a rustic grid
Her drummers gleeful
With their carved gourds
And bulbous sticks

As the rhythm grew
The women drew together
In an earthy ritual
Ecstatically grinning
Arms swinging
Feet stomping
A fertility rite
That mightily overtook them

The toddlers
Who’d come with their mums
And been left on the seats
Couldn’t sit still with this
Instinctively
They gathered in
Swaying falteringly
Neath the women’s steadying hands
The energy
Deep within them
Ignited
By a chthonian feminine force

 

© Ian Lilburne 2012

A Necessary Evil

Dionysius is a filthy beast
When released from his bottle
Late at night
When the music goes wild
And the free spirit in the crowd
Spins out of control
Consuming us all
In his rejuvenating fire
Peeling back the layers
So we don’t care anymore
About order and decorum
Are free again to face
The essential chaos
We’ll discard everything at his altar

No doubt
We are better
For that purging
Vital
Revived
Renewed to life
But the mess
The next morning
Is appalling

Pity those
Who must clean up after
That necessary God
They are not slaves

 

© Ian Lilburne 2012

Reciprocity

We always remember the stinging remark
That cuts to the heart and affronts our honour
Too readily forget the cruel retort or worse
The off-hand taunt that provoked the attack

 

© Ian Lilburne 2012

The Aftermath of Christmas Lunch

Five napkins lie abandoned
On a table half-cleared
Three
Mine and my siblings’ spouses’
Are neatly folded back
Into their rigid creases
Like they’d never been used
My sister’s
Neatly folded too
But against the grain
Sits squarely
Like the others
In the centre of the placemat
While the last
My brother’s
Lies egregiously discarded
A crumpled cloth
In the middle of the table

Does this say anything
About my family?

 

© Ian Lilburne 2011

Everything Fading to Black

(HOMAGE TO ROTHKO)

He painted big to be intimate
Abstract colour fields to capture the human spirit
‘A fugal arrangement’ he said
‘Stolen space on a rich man’s wall
Tragedy
Ecstasy
Doom
… and so on’
And on he went
Filling canvas after canvas with feathered lines
Of vibrating colour
A window
A doorway
Or an empty frame?
Do they open out to let you in
Or close in to keep you out?

A lifetime’s journey into night
Sweet oblivion in spiritual obliteration
Everything fading to black rectangles
Feathered and layered in burgundy and blue
Huing back to black

Once they were ochre and orange
Burnt umber with lime green stripes
Vibrant colours vibrating violently
But gradually
Over years
They faded through reds and blues
To a simple existential nothingness
The spiritual end point of a lifetime’s quest

Can abstract painting capture spiritual ecstasy?
Can it really breathe life into its multiforms?
Are these unknown adventures in an unknown space
Truly a tiger’s eye of possibility
The passion of organism
The passage of grace?

What irony that one so embroiled in the tussle
Between Mammon and Art
Meaning and money
Should break all records at auction at Sothebys
Seventy-two-point-eight million for a single canvas
Would he laugh wryly or roll in his grave?
This tormented soul
Rothko
Spewing paint
Drinking himself into oblivion
Drunk on alienation
Everything fading back to black in a bleak overbearing chapel
His last testament but one he didn’t even see
A crimson field on his studio floor his final vision

Was that death the logical culmination of his lifetime’s quest
His years of reflection and exploration
Or was he merely hijacked by the usual suspect
The ab-ex affection for alcohol?
Was it a renunciation
A stepping up to a higher plain
Or the same old stumble into darkness?
A last articulate point
Or a final feathering of the lines
A novel way to decorate his studio floor?

 

© Ian Lilburne 2011

The Old Writing Desk

It has sat elegantly in my room for most of my life
Sixty years old if it’s a day
I inherited it from my brother the day JFK died
When he bought himself a proper desk―with drawers
It saw us both, with distinction, through high school
I got to keep it when I moved out
My parents didn’t need it anymore
Ready to downsize, the last kid finally off their hands

It’s finely crafted
Jarrah
With a smallish top and two elegant turned legs
That cut into an elevated base
A bit like an altar table
(I once saw its twin in a church serving that purpose)
It’s only good for writing
Or, as I use it now, to hold my ink-jet printer
And, side by side, a cover width apart
The two volumes of my Shorter Oxford
It was always too small for those clunky old computers
That first replaced handwriting

Its oiled finish has weathered well
Dulled with time but still protecting the fine wood
In oiling it again I explored its texture
The top circle-stained with ancient spills of Quink ink
My brother’s flirtation with fountain pens
The divots from some teenage frustration
With a history essay or maths equation
The space underneath where
In a boy’s spy fantasy I hid my toy Lugar

But its greatest treasure is the words it so faithfully supported
Over years of keeping a journal
All those thoughts
Feelings
Stories
It lent weight to
Does their trace remain
Somewhere deep in that dark grain?

Sanding it back I found the small nails that hold it together
The silver heads once hidden by a drop of brown paint
That fix the carved trim edging the top
And the curved supports that wedge the legs into the base
I always thought it was hand-crafted
But really it comes from a production line
Model XYZ churned out by the hundred

It might fetch ten bucks at auction
Twenty if I’m lucky
Less than the cost of the oil to restore it
But I won’t be sending it to auction any time soon
It’s too precious for that
It doesn’t matter how it was made
Or what it’s worth
For me it will always be elegant and numinous
The custodian of so many memories

 

© Ian Lilburne 2011

Joyous Feelings On Arrival In the Country

As a child
When Mum wanted
To nip down to the shop
Without bundling me in the car
She’d park my stroller in front
Of the stereo and put on
Beethoven’s Pastoral
For one side of vinyl
She’d be free of me
Just long enough
To buy a packet of tea

As a teenager
Heavily steeped in
The Beatles and Tull
One afternoon
For old time’s sake
Mum put on The Pastoral
I was instantly taken
Every note resonating
Deeply in my soul
How strange to have forgotten
This magic music
The key to a captivating complexity
I yearned for
But rarely found
From then on it became
The cornerstone
Of my classical collection

As a no longer younger man
I took to taking
My elderly mother
To the symphony
Every other month
(Dad was still alive
But not comfortable enough
Venturing out into the world
Especially at night)
Together we explored
The classical canon
Beethoven our favourite
The one we adored
But Tchaikovsky too
And Bach, Dvořák, Prokofiev
(‘Provocative’ she called him)
For me it was payback time
Going on a date with
A septuagenarian

At her funeral
I chose the music
Bach’s Jesu Joy,
Nun komm’ der Heiden Heiland and
As the congregation
Entered the chapel
The exuberant opening
Of Beethoven’s Pastoral
Joyous Feelings on
Arrival in the Country

It still resonates deeply
In my soul
But now is linked
Indelibly to her

 

© Ian Lilburne 2010

Jacarandas In Bloom

Strange to see a blooming Jacaranda on an overcast day
The soft violet vibrant against a grey sky
A violent clash of colour that shakes the seasons awry
The start of summer cast back to winter

Jacarandas in flower remind me of my father
His office in the city overlooked a garden
Where they bloomed abundantly every November

Sitting down at his desk he’d catch their colour
Then turning again to break his day
He’d steal a glimpse then swiftly steal away

I’ve always imagined the sight took him back
To his childhood on the farm
A breath of country air in his closed office day
The verdant memory of a less cluttered
Though equally complex time

But were there Jacarandas at Perenjori in the 1920s?
Had they migrated then from the Americas?
And if they had, had they reached that tiny town
A hundred miles from nowhere
On the edge of the great Australian emptiness?

I see him turning back to his ledger
Raising a hand to his temple to nut out the numbers
Adding them up again to see where they’d gone awry
The start of summer cast back to winter

 

© Ian Lilburne 2010

Curse

You will be loved
And loved most tenderly
But not by the ones you love

 

© Ian Lilburne 2010

Inheritance

Funny the way
Once resolved resentments
Resurface to recolour a relationship
Parents get the worst of it
That bond that even death can’t break
What a bum wrap to suffer
Such reversal of fate
Such unrelenting scrutiny
From one whose very breath
Is contingent on yours?

 

© Ian Lilburne 2010