Massage - Ian Lilburne

The gentle rhythm of
Your strong fingers
Spiralling softly
Over my shoulders
And down my spine
Easing the pain
Making me reel again with an
Unexpected expectancy
The top of my neck
Where the tension lies
To the tip of my fingers
Where it seems to fly out
Your firm hands firmly ease
These coils of stress
These knots of uncertainty
It feels so good
So… necessary

But the voices in my head
That your fingers unleash
Are not so easily eased
A thousand imbedded thoughts
Reel in revolt and confusion
Is it not too early for this
Too easy capitulation?
My deeper desires are too untried
To be surrendered here
Won’t this make it even harder
Than it’s already been?

Stop!
I shout
Firmly but gently
Shutting you out