Hats

Funny the Australian attitude toward hats
It’s cool for cockies
And polis in the country
Vying for votes
Or city metrosexuals on the weekend
At the beach, the shops, a concert
Musicians always get away with it
But then they would

But wear one to work in the city
And you cop all kinds of flak
“That bloke’s up himself
What a poser
Probably a poofter”
(That still flagrant fear
Of fiercely heterosexual men
Even in this post LGBTIQ world)

Women on the other hand
Usually like a man in a hat
They find it stylish
Even charming
If their compliments can be believed

I’ve seen hats from both sides now
From with and without

Years ago I had a colleague who wore
A flat-brimmed Akubra with
An even conical crest
He stood out
You could always feel it
When he crossed campus
It didn’t really suit him
Or so I told myself
He was too straight for the look
Not flamboyant or casual enough
To pull it off

By the time I took them up
He’d  stopped
When asked he said
The impulse lasts five years
Then you snap back

By that reckoning
I’m overdue to stop now
But I still love my Akubra-Fedora
As I‘ve come to call it
It’s brow is beaten
Into a rakish shape
But it still hides my balding head
Gives my otherwise bland face
Some character
A bit of flair
Or so I tell myself

The key to wearing a hat
Is to do it casually
As though it’s not there
A mere extension of your face
A self conscious man in a hat
Gives off a weird energy
Just think of Jack Kennedy
In the few shots of him wearing one

Kennedy has a lot to answer for
When it comes to hats
The fact he felt silly wearing one
And so rarely did
Reputedly sent them out of fashion
Men finally felt they could
Stop wearing those silly hats
One less thing to leave behind
On the train or in a bar
Which is possibly why
Australian men now have such
Antipathy toward them
Funny that

 

© Ian Lilburne 2018